On how I found myself on the spectrum

Frankly? I was pissing off my then-husband. More and more, and what was worse, unwittingly - without even trying.

I had noticed a few "coincidences" here and there. A friend's son is on the spectrum, and her description of his Aspie features sounded spot on - the patterns, the love of math and word play, the keen sense of (in)justice, the literality, the difficulty in telling sarcasm and getting some jokes. Then there was an Aspie love interest of Sherlock Holmes on Elementary, a woman who grew very agitated and frustrated when he insisted that she please tell him that the sky is red ("it's obviously not, why would I tell you that?"), which is how many an argument at home has gone. Then a young cousin got diagnosed, and I found myself explaining to his mom why his quirks made perfect sense to me ("of course he's separating the balls in his play pool by color, that's SO much more interesting than wading in it", for example). Then I read Neurotribes, a historical overview of Asperger's syndrome then autism as they were first described, written by a journalist, and found all the quirks of my childhood described in detail. My copy of the book has a long list of all my "features" handwritten inside the cover as I read on and found myself in there.

I lucked out in finding a therapist specialized in helping adults on the spectrum navigate the neurotypical world. Life all of a sudden makes SO much more sense.

And my husband and I are getting better every day at functioning with our differences - he, the ADD king of subtlety, sociality and reading the room, and me aloof in my oyster, happy to be a spectator, learning by observation.